For this week’s FYI Friday, I want to emphasize that WORDS ARE POWERFUL. Language, a word choice, has a tremendous impact on what we think of ourselves and each other. Think back to a time in your childhood, when someone called you a name or said something derogatory about you. You can probably remember the exact words they said to humiliate or degrade you. Words are extremely powerful.
With that in mind, let’s take a quick look at how these powerful words play a role in domestic violence.
The following are examples of ways to rephrase victim-blaming language:
She provoked him.
He made a choice.
Why does she stay?
Why does he batter?
Family violence, violent relationship
Abuser, violent person
She is a battered woman.
He is an abuser.
He has anger control issues.
He uses abuse to have power and control over his partner.
Survivors of domestic and sexual violence experience the impact of negative words every time someone questions their actions or doubts their experiences. People often underestimate the importance of choosing appropriate language to discuss the issues of domestic and sexual violence.
We avoid the terms violent relationship and family violence which suggest a relationship problem or that everyone in the family is violent. These terms miss the truth – they miss the opportunity to make it clear that one man or woman is making the choice to be violent to a woman or man or a family.
Women and men alike must be willing to address the stereotypes and oppressions that are used to keep violence against women and children in place. Words are powerful, and we each choose which words to use every day. Each person who understands the issues has the opportunity to help others understand as well, by choosing words that reflect the truth about domestic and sexual violence.
If you or someone you know is a victim of sexual assault or domestic violence, please reach out to us here at HAVEN.
