In honor of Native American Heritage Month please take a few moments to read how traditional Native American values are reflected in healthy relationships from the National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center:
Our work to end violence against Native women and recreate peaceful, harmonious communities is based on reclaiming our traditional values, belief systems, and lifeways.
The key values of this life way are- Compassion, respect, generosity, mutual sharing, humility, contributing/industriousness, courage, love, and being spiritually centered.
These values are expressed by how we behave and relate to others. Challenge yourself to find other ways to create life-supporting power in yourself and others.
At the center of the nonviolence, the wheel is EQUALITY. Equality is recognizing that everyone has the right to follow their path. Equality means power-sharing, not holding power over. Equality has nonviolence as its foundation. It is a feeling
of connectedness – balance and harmony with ourselves, others, our environment, and the cosmos. We have no need to change, fix or convince the other person.
Equality is at the center of all healthy relationships. It doesn’t mean we are alike or that we should be. It means we celebrate and honor our differences.
The Circle of Life teaches us that all things in Creation are equal in importance. The Equality Wheel shows us how this looks in human relationships of all kinds, as partners, parents, relatives, and friends. The following are brief descriptions of
how these values are practiced in everyday life.
BEING RESPECTFUL Listen to her non-judgmentally. Be emotionally affirming and understanding. Values her thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Honor her individual way of being and walking her path.
SEXUAL RESPECT
Understand the difference between love, sex, and intimacy. Treat your partner as you would a Pipe. Respect her feelings and her rights to choose her relationships and control her body.
PARTNERSHIP Treat your partner as an equal and whole human being. Respect her decisions and opinions. Listen with your heart. Share responsibilities based on skills, interests, and fairness.
CULTURAL RESPECT
Understand your relationship to others and all things in Creation. Be responsible for your role: Act with compassion and respect. Respect and accept that people have their own path. Humbly respect her Path as being equally important as yours.
SPIRITUAL REFLECTION
Meditate about walking your own Path. Reflect on your relationship with the Creator. Make time to be alone in Nature. Recognize and express thanks for your blessings. Focus on the inner balance of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self. Practice humility.
TRUST AND SUPPORT
Support her goals in life. Respect her right to her own feelings, friends, activities, and opinions. Help provide the resources she needs and wants. Respect her “space” and privacy.
HONESTY AND ACCOUNTABILITY Accept responsibility for yourself, including your actions and words, things that you should have done. Acknowledge your past use of violence and the ongoing impact it has. Admit being wrong. Communicate openly, truthfully, and respectfully.
RESPONSIBLE PARENTING
Share all parental responsibilities. Be a positive, nonviolent role model. Nurture your children; don’t “baby-sit.” Acknowledge that being an “absent parent” is neglect, not an excuse for not providing financial, emotional, and other types of support in the best way you can. Parenting is difficult – get support and words of wisdom from your relatives when needed.
SHARED RESPONSIBILITY
Mutually agree on a fair distribution of work. Make family decisions together. Do your share without being reminded. Seek help or learn more about the things you are responsible for if needed
ECONOMIC PARTNERSHIP
Make money decisions together. Make sure both partners are aware of, understand and benefit from financial arrangements.
NEGOTIATION AND FAIRNESS
Seek mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict. Accept change as part of life, not a threat. Be willing to compromise. Try to find answers to problems where everyone’s needs are met.
NON-THREATENING BEHAVIOR
Talk and act in a way that makes her feel safe and comfortable so she can express herself and do the things she needs to do for herself. Respect how your past use of violence continues to affect her.
For more information:
https://www.niwrc.org/sites/default/files/files/reports/VANW%20Not%20Traditional%20-%20Handbook.pdf
HAVEN clients were encouraged to celebrate this month with a traditional native meal. Meal Kits which included the “3 Sister’s Chicken” recipe, crockpot, and the ingredients for fry bread were provided.
Sound delicious? 😊 Reply to this email for your chance to win a kit!
HAVEN Advocates are here to help!
