Being a Supportive Friend: Recognizing the Signs of Domestic Violence
Being a good friend means showing up not just during the good times, but also when someone is struggling—especially in situations that may involve domestic violence. Often, victims don’t or can’t come right out and say they’re being abused, so it’s important to listen carefully and notice patterns in what they say or how they behave. Trust your instincts if something feels off, and create a safe, non-judgmental space where your friend feels comfortable talking. Checking in regularly, asking open-ended questions, and being patient can make all the difference. Understanding the red flags in their language and actions is a powerful way to recognize when someone might be in trouble and needs support.
Recognizing Red Flag Words in Domestic Violence Situations
Domestic violence victims often use specific words or phrases that subtly signal abuse, whether due to fear, shame, or manipulation by their abuser. Common red flag words include “walking on eggshells,” “always angry,” or “he just snaps.” Victims may also downplay their experiences with terms like “just a bad temper,” “he gets jealous,” or “it’s my fault.” These expressions often reflect a deep emotional toll and a pattern of coercive control, fear, and self-blame—hallmarks of abusive relationships. Paying attention to such language can be a crucial first step in identifying someone who may need help.
Additionally, victims might refer to isolation without directly naming it: phrases like “I’m not allowed to see my friends,” or “he doesn’t like it when I go out” suggest a partner is controlling their social life. Mentions of tracking phones, checking messages, or needing “permission” to make decisions also indicate unhealthy power dynamics.
Friends, family who notice these red flags in conversation should approach with empathy and offer resources, creating a safe space for the victim to open up further. Recognizing these linguistic cues could be vital in intervening before the abuse escalates.
If you are seeing red flags in a friend or family members conversation, please encourage them to call HAVEN. We are ready to listen and provide support.
Thanks for reading.
