Hello all –
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month…we’ll be focusing each week on the basic facts of domestic violence and dispelling myths. Today we’re focusing on myths…including this quick one minute video about the myth that domestic violence will somehow “stop”….it rarely stops.
Myths and Facts about Domestic Violence
Myth
Domestic violence is a private family matter.
Fact
Domestic violence is everyone’s business. Keeping domestic violence secret helps no one, has been shown to harm children, incurs substantial costs to society, and serves to perpetuate abuse through learned patterns of behavior.
Myth
Most of the time, domestic violence is not really that serious.
Fact
Domestic violence is an illegal act in the U.S. and is considered a crime with serious repercussions. Although there are aspects of domestic violence (e.g., emotional, psychological, spiritual abuse) that may not be considered criminal in a legal sense, serious and long-lasting physical, emotional and spiritual harm can, and often does, occur. Each and every act of domestic violence needs to be taken seriously.
Myth
Victims provoke their partners’ violence.
Fact
Whatever problems exist in a relationship, the use of violence is never justifiable or acceptable. There is NO EXCUSE for domestic violence.
Myth
Domestic violence is an impulse control or anger management problem.
Fact
Abusers act deliberately and with forethought. Abusers choose whom to abuse. For example, an abuser will selectively batter his wife but not his boss
Myth
It is easy for a victim to leave her abuser, so if she doesn’t leave, it means she likes the abuse or is exaggerating how bad it is.
Fact
Fear, lack of safe options, and inability to survive economically prevent many women from leaving abusive relationships. Threats of harm, including death to the victim and/ or children, keep many battered women trapped in abusive situations. The most dangerous time for a battered woman is when she attempts to leave the relationship, or when the abuser discovers that she has made plans to leave.
Myth
Services for victims are staffed by people angry at traditional society who want to break up the family unit.
Fact
Programs that help battered women and their children, and counselors who provide assistance, are concerned first and foremost with the safety of the survivor and her dependent children. The goal of counseling and other survivor services is not to break up the family unit but to preserve the safety of all its members. Achieving this goal, unfortunately, may mean that some relationships may need to end.
Myth
Since our religion doesn’t condone divorce, an abusive man should speak with the religious leader to mend his ways.
Fact
Although some religions do frown on divorce, no religion advocates abuse. Some abusers misinterpret or intentionally misuse religious writing to justice violence against their partners and children or to prevent marriage – even one wracked by violence and abuse – from dissolving. Helpful conversations with a batterer, even if conducted carefully by a religious leader, may bring short-term relief, but cannot take the place of qualified batterer intervention services, and may even pose a safety risk for the victim and her children
If you worry about a friend or family member…or about your own safety… HAVEB advocates are here to help. You are NOT alone.
If you are able please call or see the messaging links above:
Haven Office: 918-554-2836
Text Line: 918.533.3070
Crime Victim Advocate: 541.602.0616
Program Website: https://havenprogram.com/
Facebook: HAVEN Tribal Program, Twitter: @ProgramHaven, Instagram: HAVENTRIBALProgram.
Our advocates are here to help!
After hours you can reach our local Community Crisis Center at 1.800.400.0883 and Strong Hearts Tribal Hotline at 1.844.762.8483
