H.A.V.E.N. Update
By Cathleen Osborne-Gowey (Program Admin – Crime Victim Advocate) COsbornegowey@estoo.net
Upcoming Events for October:
Support Group – please call office date and time
Trunk or Treat (call our office for details)
Please call our office or look on our social media sights (Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram) and our website (havenprogram.com) for updates.
Program Update:
Hello all –
Fall is here and the weather is getting cooler…or at least I want it to be. This summer has been full of change and loss for many of us. However, Haven has maintained our ability to help more and more clients and increased our annual budget. We are enjoying getting to know our new advocate and outreach coordinator Tracie and are planning many virtual events for this upcoming year.
This month’s article focuses on domestic violence, defining domestic violence and warning signs, as October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
“More than 4 in 5 (or 84.3%) American Indian and Alaskan Native women have experienced violence in their lifetime. More than half have experienced sexual violence in their lifetime.”
What Is Domestic Violence?
(This information and more can be found at https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/)
Domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner (or person in a place of authority) to maintain power and control over another person or partner in an intimate relationship.
Domestic violence does not discriminate. Anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender can be a victim – or perpetrator – of domestic violence. It can happen to people who are married, living together or who are dating. It affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.
Domestic violence includes behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. It includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of domestic violence/abuse can be occurring at any one time within the same intimate relationship.
Warning Signs of Domestic Violence
It’s not always easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive.
In fact, many abusive partners may seem absolutely perfect in the early stages of a relationship. Possessive and controlling behaviors don’t always appear overnight, but rather emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.
Domestic violence doesn’t look the same in every relationship because every relationship is different. But one thing most abusive relationships have in common is that the abusive partner does many different kinds of things to have more power and control over their partner.
Some of the signs of an abusive relationship include a partner who:
- Tells you that you can never do anything right
- Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away
- Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members
- Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs
- Controls every penny spent in the household
- Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses
- Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you
- Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do
- Prevents you from making your own decisions
- Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children
- Prevents you from working or attending school
- Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets
- Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons
- Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
- Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol
Remember, you are NOT alone. REACH OUT!
If you have questions, have concern about your relationship or the relationship of someone you know…Haven advocates are here to listen and walk you through the next steps.
If you are able please call or see the messaging links above:
Haven Office: 918-554-2836
Text Line: 918.533.3070
Crime Victim Advocate: 541.602.0616
Program Website: https://havenprogram.com/
Start By Believing Website: https://www.startbybelieving.org/home/
Facebook: HAVEN Tribal Program, Twitter: @ProgramHaven, Instagram: HAVENTRIBALProgram.
Our advocates are here to help!
After hours you can reach our local Community Crisis Center at 1.800.400.0883 and Strong Hearts Tribal Hotline at 1.844.762.8483
