How to Respond When an Abusive Ex Tries to Provoke You
Unfortunately, leaving an abusive relationship doesn’t always mean a survivor can completely cut off contact. Many people who separate from an abusive partner still have to communicate with them—often because they share children, custody arrangements, finances, or other legal matters. If you’re having trouble communicating with an abusive ex-partner, you’re not alone—and there are strategies that may help make those conversations safer and less stressful.
One helpful tactic is called BIFF, which stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm, a communication style designed to reduce conflict and keep interactions focused only on necessary information. Using short, factual messages and avoiding emotional back-and-forth can help minimize opportunities for arguments or harassment.
If this is something you’re struggling with, we encourage you to click the link below to read the full, helpful article on DomesticShelters.org. It offers additional guidance and examples for communicating with an abusive ex when contact can’t be avoided—especially in situations involving children or shared responsibilities.
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